Titus 3:5 ... by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
JOH 15:3-7;JOH 15:4 Abide in me ... He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth
much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
Abiding in Christ is not just an easy-believism or a nice feeling or something you work up. It is hard to describe, but when you have it, you know what it is. It comes when you seek the face of God instead of his hands. Ask God for it and mean it. Thirst for it more than you care for food. And when you have it, you have to want to keep it. You have to press in to maintain it (I am finding this out the hard way).
Abiding means making it a top priority to put Jesus at the top of your list, even on the job. Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord in gratefulness. (I am slowly learning this too).
You must decrease. Jesus must increase. All the worldly training seminars and advice on self-esteem, Dale Carnegie, etc. all teach you that you must think highly of yourself, and that you are #1, and that you have your rights, so 'be assertive'. But the Bible doesn't bear this out. It says we have sinned against God, so we have no rights (except to be punished). Because of the effects sin has on a life, all of men's thinking and understanding is warped, and it needs to be crucified. Hence Proverbs 3:5-7... lean not unto thine own understanding...Fear the Lord, and depart from evil. My understanding must decrease. I want to understand things the way God understands things. I want to see people the way God sees them. I want to feel the way God feels about things. I want to have his hands, his feet, his eyes, his nose, his ears, and his mouth, for such a needy generation. I want to have a heart for that one lost soul who doesn't know Jesus. I want to be caught up in whatever God is doing. My will has to get out of the way too. these are good steps to abiding in Christ. When he is everything to you, you will have found that sweet place where no fleshly substitute is desirable anymore.
You get to die [to self] every morning. (or else suffer the consequences - been there). You have to want to be dead to yourself and live unto God instead. When you are so sick of your own ways that they become detestable, pound the gates of heaven to show people Jesus instead of you. There's nothing like it. And the enemy will probably try to have you crucified for it, and he will try to trip you up so you say or do the wrong thing. Been there. But it's worth it. All my sorrows turn to joy. All of Satan's threats of destruction become life to a new soul.
The enemy may try to turn brothers in the Lord against each other, working up both sides into a froth - sometimes because one person is in the flesh, and the other is in the Spirit, and these two at their peak are not like oil and water, they are like mixing fire and a keg of flashpowder. [this study was done when I was young in the Lord. I think Christians go through phases of growth. I started out with a pharisee stage,hot and on fire. I have mellowed out with age, and I think Christians should be sweet, or at least be salty, rather than be in-your-face all the time...] Recognizing that it's the enemy's tactic and refusing with all your might to participate is key. And if you are persecuted, don't forget you have something to rejoice about (I did for a while). If you allow yourself to be broken by God (not by the opressor) because you are hurt, God may bless your hurt and brokenness and turn it into someone else's healing and salvation. If it is the hand of God smiting you, [I will have to look this up,but I don't think God does this to his saints. spank/chasten in various ways yes...] you will recognize his hand if you are looking for Him. If it's not his hand, you could be very blessed soon [it's the enemy's in that case! in this case, I was thinking about persecution for the name of Christ Jesus. this world's trails/troubles/tribulations we all get.].
Pray for people to have God's blessing. Many kinds of blessings available. Best if God chooses. Salvation. Deliverance. Ask God to shine his light in your life so you can see better, and in the life of the unsaved, so they can see the savior better. Be salty and full of light.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God (Righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost), and all these things shall be added unto you.